Translating Tiger

Here is what Tiger Woods really would have said if he'd been wrapped in Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth.

I am sorry. I am so sorry I got caught! The ride is over and it really sucks for me. I was having so much fun. Now I have to pretend that I had some sort of addiction and that it was out of my control. I have to go to rehab and remember all the great times and feign remorse. The publicity around this is ridiculous, any guy in my position would have done the same thing.

I will come back to golf as I soon as I can convince my wife that I won't be "playing the field" again. I have a learned alot from this experience. These lessons will be invaluable in helping me cover my tracks better the next time I succumb to this "addiction". In the meantime, rest assured that I will be back and ready to get in bed....ahem....partner with new sponsors. I will also screw over the ones who dumped me just for embarrassing them a little. Thank you and again I'm really really sorry.....for me.

Stop the Snow, Stop the Snow, Stop the Snow!

This is an SOS to all my friends in sunnier climes, help!! Unprecedented back to back blizzards have resulted in nearly 30 inches of snow outside my door. The kids have been out of school for over a week, there's been no trash pick up, we've had a couple of bouts of illness, and I'm climbing the walls! Seriously, it hasn't been as bad as it could have been. The best part is that Brien managed to get home just before the second blizzard hit and relieved me of my snow shoveling duties :). I praise God that I stocked up on plenty of food and treats. We are eating our way out of this. I've probably gained 40 pounds (but its just snow weight). We've caught up on recent movies but fallen behind on housework. However, laundry can not be ignored. The kids come in from the snow soaking wet and are constantly changing clothes. Baby Savannah looked so adorable in her new snow suit, but she HATED going outside in the snow. I couldn't even get her to smile for a decent picture. Brien has high hopes that one of our daughters will compete in the winter Olympics someday, but I think Savannah might be more of a summer girl. On the other hand, Carisa and Contessa are daredevils who throw themselves down snowy hills with no concern for personal safety. I just take the pictures and go back in for cocoa. It looks like the snow is gone for awhile, now its time for the Big Melt. I'll probably be writing about epic flooding soon....please standby with an ark!