Budget Birthdays- How to have a "Scentsational" Spa Party

I just wrapped up a busy season that included two milestone birthdays for my children. Considering our current financial straits the all out expensive bashes of the past were totally out of reach. However, I am so proud of the amazing parties we pulled off on a small budget. The first was an Ariel party and the second was a new one for me, the Spa Slumber Party!

The ratio of expense to excitement was off the hook when it came to the Spa Slumber Party. So if you're looking for some ideas, here's how we did it. Upon arrival our guests were immersed into a pampered environment that included aromatherapy candles and soundscape music. They were offered slushies and a tray of fruit snacks to enjoy at our outdoor "bubble" lounge. Several age-appropriate magazines were also available for their perusal while awaiting their turn at the manicure station in the living room. The manicure included a palm to elbow massage with a luxurious satsuma body butter. After the manicure the girls painted each other’s nails with some candy scented polishes. Meanwhile, the girls were also circulating through the relaxation center where they enjoyed a shiatsu on a recliner while listening to a soothing sound machine and breathing in the stress relieving notes of another aromatherapy candle.

Each girl received a cute purse in brown or pink with a bow in front. Inside there was a small loofah, a manicure set, scented hand lotion, head wrap, and “Friends 4ever” picture frame. After the nail and massage sessions we moved onto the much anticipated facial. First we washed faces with a citrusy cleanser from Clean and Clear, then exfoliated with an apricot scrub from St. Ives, then we used warm towels to open up the pores. Next, we applied a green mud mask from Burt’s Bees and cucumber slices on the eyes. At this point we took a picture break. (Each girl went home with a group picture for their frame). Then we washed up with warm water and finished up with a gentle aloe facial moisturizer. The girls loved every minute of it! After that it was pizza, a purse decorated cake with ice cream, and gift opening. We filled in the rest of the night by renting a movie from on demand (the Tooth Fairy) and plenty of popcorn. The girls were up through the night. In the morning, we served fruit, donuts, cereal, and OJ.

It was a night packed with fun activities that really didn't cost very much. The goodie purses were created from items found in the dollar bins at Target and from Dollar Tree. As for the facial treatments I was careful to purchase products that were gentle and had scents appealing to preteens. I did research how to make these treatments at home and had the best intentions of doing that. But as they saying goes "time is money" and I'm short on both :). Overall this was a "scentsational" experience that I'm sure we'll do again in the future.

Wanted Dead or Alive: Creator of the Virus that infected my email!

My email has been infected (and thus so has my life) by a virus. I truly feel like the victim of a crime and I want justice!

Honestly, I never thought this could happen to me and was completely unprepared for the havoc it would wreak. Apparently, I may have accidentally disabled my anti-virus software at some point. Still, I'm always careful about the emails I open so I'm not sure where this virus got it. In the past week, the virus has sent thousands of emails to friends, family, clients, business associates, acquaintances....it has just been a nightmare. I posted a warning on my facebook and twitter feeds but those have a limited circulation, so I've received a slew of email responses and some were a bit tepid.

I feel like I've been robbed. Robbed of my good name, robbed of my electronic relationships, robbed of my time, robbed of the full use of my computer etc. Seriously, I should be able to file a police report. I want a crack team of computer techs tracking this predator down. The sentence would require disposal of the assailant's computer. There would also be some community service where the perpetrator has to fix every PC affected by the virus he created. It's a nice dream right?

Who knows....maybe someday we'll have some sort of virtual online police. Wouldn't it be cool to just press a button on your toolbar and this law enforcement avatar takes your complaint then goes speeding off into cyberspace to apprehend the criminal! I'm totally picturing a "Tron" like world. Oh well, in the meantime I'll just have to be more vigilant and hopefully never go through this experience again.

What Mommy Wars?

I recently read an article examining the status of the so-called "mommy wars". The author postulated that the struggling economy had made this a back burner issue. I believe the Mommy Wars were flamed by media pundits and never reflected the day-to-day reality of modern motherhood. Most women understand that we all have difficult choices to make in life, and every mom has do to what is best for her family in their circumstances.

I base this on personal experience in nearly every hyphenated unit of the Mommy troops. I have been a full-time working mom, a part-time working mom, a stay-at-home mom and a free-lance working mom. At each stage I have been actively involved with my children's lives and engaged with mothers from all walks of life. There has never been a time that I felt any real enmity or judgment of my work arrangements. I never heard my professional colleagues disparage stay-at-home moms or vice versa. There were definitely interesting discussions about what was best for children, for women, whose needs should come first etc., but never did I encounter the virulent "us vs them" mentality that generated so many headlines.

Of course there are some individuals with very strong opinions. One former coworker declared she was so glad to be back in the workforce because staying at home with her kids had been boring and she felt she had lost her identity. She believed that taking time out of work wasn't really a good choice for women or children. I gently pointed out this was her individual experience and she had reached this conclusion after having had the opportunity to stay home; a choice that many moms will never even have a chance to make.

The truth is so many mothers struggle to balance raising children with working and meeting their own personal needs. There is no one choice that is perfect for all families. Like the seasons, our families needs and desires change over time. We are already under so much pressure as modern moms, the stay home vs work debate is just irrelevant. Instead of talking about Mommy Wars let's talk about Mommy Peace. Let's talk about support services for the various challenges presented by working, staying at home, and everything in between.

Making Summer Magic

Spring hasn't officially arrived yet, but already its time to plan the family's summer activities. You have to get a jump on this because the most affordable and fun camps will be filled quickly. I've already spent hours trolling the web to research various camps. I have to balance the girls' interests with our budget and availability. I have literally built a spread sheet that incorporates prices, camp dates, age range, activities, and distance from home. Its all part of my parental committment to make my children's summers as magical and memorable as mine were.

Although to be honest I didn't get to do as much in my entire childhood career as my kids have in just the last four years. It was a different time and compared to our peers we were spoiled. My brother and I were quite aware of how much our parents sacrificed to take us on a vacation every summer. Usually it was a short beach getaway but sometimes it was a big trip like DisneyWorld. In between, we filled the summer days with bike riding, going to Vacation Bible School, and spending countless hours at the library. For me reading books at the library was the best part. It was an opportunity to learn more about anything I wanted without the stress of tests or grades. I believe these self-directed studies played an important role in shaping the person I am today. That is why I am a strong supporter of summer breaks.

I understand all the arguments for year-round school but I truly believe the benefits of a summer break outweigh the drawbacks. Yes, the school calendar was originally created to accomodate a farming culture that is virtually nonexistent today. However, the culture has evolved to where this seasonal break is crucial to the tourism industry which in turn provides employment opportunities for teens. The summer hiatus is also a perfect time for students to repeat a class or to get ahead. For me, typing and government were so easy when I had no other classes to worry about. You also can't overlook the transformative powers of summer. How many times did you come back to school to be wowed by classmates who had grown taller, shed weight or braces, or just gained an appealing aura of confidence? Changes like that don't usually happen in two-week breaks.

I still believe in the importance of summer vacations and I sincerely hope they don't disappear. Our childrens' futures will be filled with year-round work schedules and activity packed two-week vacations (only after their six-month employment probation of course), but this is the only time in their lives when they can explore the mysteries of their own minds and experience the magic of endless summer days. No time table, no agenda, just the chance to be.

Translating Tiger

Here is what Tiger Woods really would have said if he'd been wrapped in Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth.

I am sorry. I am so sorry I got caught! The ride is over and it really sucks for me. I was having so much fun. Now I have to pretend that I had some sort of addiction and that it was out of my control. I have to go to rehab and remember all the great times and feign remorse. The publicity around this is ridiculous, any guy in my position would have done the same thing.

I will come back to golf as I soon as I can convince my wife that I won't be "playing the field" again. I have a learned alot from this experience. These lessons will be invaluable in helping me cover my tracks better the next time I succumb to this "addiction". In the meantime, rest assured that I will be back and ready to get in bed....ahem....partner with new sponsors. I will also screw over the ones who dumped me just for embarrassing them a little. Thank you and again I'm really really sorry.....for me.

Stop the Snow, Stop the Snow, Stop the Snow!

This is an SOS to all my friends in sunnier climes, help!! Unprecedented back to back blizzards have resulted in nearly 30 inches of snow outside my door. The kids have been out of school for over a week, there's been no trash pick up, we've had a couple of bouts of illness, and I'm climbing the walls! Seriously, it hasn't been as bad as it could have been. The best part is that Brien managed to get home just before the second blizzard hit and relieved me of my snow shoveling duties :). I praise God that I stocked up on plenty of food and treats. We are eating our way out of this. I've probably gained 40 pounds (but its just snow weight). We've caught up on recent movies but fallen behind on housework. However, laundry can not be ignored. The kids come in from the snow soaking wet and are constantly changing clothes. Baby Savannah looked so adorable in her new snow suit, but she HATED going outside in the snow. I couldn't even get her to smile for a decent picture. Brien has high hopes that one of our daughters will compete in the winter Olympics someday, but I think Savannah might be more of a summer girl. On the other hand, Carisa and Contessa are daredevils who throw themselves down snowy hills with no concern for personal safety. I just take the pictures and go back in for cocoa. It looks like the snow is gone for awhile, now its time for the Big Melt. I'll probably be writing about epic flooding soon....please standby with an ark!

Marriage Reality Check

My husband and I have been married for over 13 years. I am proud of the life we've made together, but it has been an incredibly rough road. There were many times when I wondered if holding on was the real mistake and other times when I felt incredibly grounded and secure. Maybe that explains why I WAS a big fan of the Jon & Kate Plus Eight show. Yes, Kate could be shrill and Jon was the epitome of passive/aggressive, but they were a better reflection of my marriage than the reality TV family I wish we were like, the Duggars. I could relate to Kate's emotional outbursts, her desire to create wonderful childhood memories,and to provide for the brood financially. Meanwhile, Michelle Duggar the even-keeled, patient, ever faithful mother of 18 never loses her cool. She lives on some alternative plane of consciousness unfazed by petty concerns. I would love to join her, but spiritually I'm just not there.

So while I aspired to be Michelle, I found solace in seeing Jon and Kate muddling their way through in similar fashion to us. I was disturbed by blog reports of Kate's manipulations, but I decided to give her some slack due to the pressure of having to put eight kids through college someday. And even though Jon was henpecked, I knew he had to be grateful to Kate for masterminding their path to financial security. I really believed Jon and Kate were a strong unit and was so envious when they renewed their vows in Hawaii. So I felt incredibly duped when their facade came crumbling down. It has forced me to take another hard look at my marriage. Afterall, I related to Jon and Kate and as long as my marriage wasn't any better or worse than theirs, I felt I could coast. But the reality is marriage is hard work, something you have to work at every day. There are no guarantees, but neglect is always a recipe for disaster. So the lesson for the day? Don't compare you marriage to anyone else's because you'll never know what goes on behind anyone's doors but your own.

As for the show, I still tune in like a rubber necker at a crash scene. The show has devolved into a blur of cross promotions, field trips, and product placements. There is no substance, no real heart any more. The main draw of the show was the family interactions, and seeing the kids grow up in a normal fashion. From this season's shows it appears the kids are on one never-ending vacation. You don't see the everyday stuff of family life like the chaos of getting everyone off to school, tackling chores, making friends, etc. Jon and Kate used to pretend the cameras weren't there. Now they talk directly to the cameras because they have no one else to play off of. It is so sad. I just wish TLC would pull the plug and free me from this self-inflicted addiction.