Glen Burnie, MD – The blazing sun bears down on a backyard pool party where a gaggle of girls celebrate the summer with shrieks, cannonball jumps, and general splashing around. In the midst of the merriment the shining face of four-year-old Sarah Grace Handy reflects the sun with her own radiant smile. She glides on her back through the water supported by the loving arms of her aunt. It is a refreshing respite for Sarah who earlier in the day was overheating in her wheelchair. She delights in the sounds of the other children, the sensation of the water, and the beauty of the clear blue sky. This is a good day.
It was also a good day when Sarah Grace was born on July 6, 2006. Patrick and Dena Handy, already parents to Kaitlyn and Hope, were thrilled to add another girl to the family. “We were used to redheads but here was this beautiful brunette, and she was perfect in every way,” recalls Dena Handy. The family took their baby girl home and quickly settled into a routine, but within a few days that bliss would be shattered. It started with a phone call from the health department informing them that through routine newborn screening Sarah had tested positive for a rare genetic disorder, Glutaric Aciduria Type 1 or GA 1, in which the body is unable to process certain proteins properly. Affected individuals can have difficulty moving and can experience spasms, jerking, rigidity, or decreased muscle tone. They are also at risk for metabolic strokes that can cause brain damage.
The Handys could barely take it all in. Sarah would have to take medication daily and be put on a special diet. She would also need to be hospitalized at the first sign of any illness. This was because Sarah’s body lacks the enzymes needed to metabolize certain amino acids; those acids can accumulate in her brain especially during times of sickness and lead to a stroke. “When we left the hospital that day, I began a prayer that I have yet to stop,” says Dena Handy. “I have always prayed for my children. But now I needed God to carry me through this time in my life.”
Sarah grew and developed normally until she was five months old, when she woke up one day unable to hold her head up. It was her first major health crisis on a journey that has included several hospitalizations and an additional diagnosis of cerebral palsy. Through it all Sarah has proven to be a fighter and a little girl with a remarkable spirit. Even with outward physical limitations, Sarah is a very bright girl who is academically on par with her peers. She is continually learning new ways to engage the people around her.
“Sarah can brighten the whole room with her smile,” says her mother. “She is a happy girl who loves to be outside, dance to music, splash in the pool and laugh with her sisters. We just want to do everything possible to help Sarah reach her greatest potential.”
Today Sarah relies on a customized wheelchair to get around, but there is hope she will enjoy some independent mobility in the future. Recently, the family was heartened to see the amazing developmental progress Sarah made while participating in a therapy program at Kennedy Krieger Institute in Baltimore.
“She walked in the gait trainer for quite a distance and made seven consecutive steps” says Handy. “Her head control has improved tremendously and her communication has become more consistent. “ Unfortunately the therapy has been discontinued due to insurance limitations. It is just the latest in a long line of financial obstacles. Maintaining insurance is a challenge within itself, and even with insurance the Handys are overwhelmed by the staggering costs of medications, equipment and therapies. The Handys’ extended family, friends and church have aided wherever possible but the bills keep mounting; now the family is also in urgent need of expensive house renovations to better accommodate Sarah.
Sarah’s journey has come to a critical crossroad and that is why Thrivent Financial for Lutherans recently hosted a benefit dinner and silent auction for Sarah. The event themed "Happy to Be", a reflection of Sarah's personality, raised over $10,000 and the Handy family is hoping Sarah will be able to restart therapy soon.
“We are so grateful for the community support,” says Handy. “We are going through some tough financial times right now, but when you see Sarah smile its all worth it.”
Monday, August 16, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Budget Birthdays- How to have a "Scentsational" Spa Party
I just wrapped up a busy season that included two milestone birthdays for my children. Considering our current financial straits the all out expensive bashes of the past were totally out of reach. However, I am so proud of the amazing parties we pulled off on a small budget. The first was an Ariel party and the second was a new one for me, the Spa Slumber Party!
The ratio of expense to excitement was off the hook when it came to the Spa Slumber Party. So if you're looking for some ideas, here's how we did it. Upon arrival our guests were immersed into a pampered environment that included aromatherapy candles and soundscape music. They were offered slushies and a tray of fruit snacks to enjoy at our outdoor "bubble" lounge. Several age-appropriate magazines were also available for their perusal while awaiting their turn at the manicure station in the living room. The manicure included a palm to elbow massage with a luxurious satsuma body butter. After the manicure the girls painted each other’s nails with some candy scented polishes. Meanwhile, the girls were also circulating through the relaxation center where they enjoyed a shiatsu on a recliner while listening to a soothing sound machine and breathing in the stress relieving notes of another aromatherapy candle.
Each girl received a cute purse in brown or pink with a bow in front. Inside there was a small loofah, a manicure set, scented hand lotion, head wrap, and “Friends 4ever” picture frame. After the nail and massage sessions we moved onto the much anticipated facial. First we washed faces with a citrusy cleanser from Clean and Clear, then exfoliated with an apricot scrub from St. Ives, then we used warm towels to open up the pores. Next, we applied a green mud mask from Burt’s Bees and cucumber slices on the eyes. At this point we took a picture break. (Each girl went home with a group picture for their frame). Then we washed up with warm water and finished up with a gentle aloe facial moisturizer. The girls loved every minute of it! After that it was pizza, a purse decorated cake with ice cream, and gift opening. We filled in the rest of the night by renting a movie from on demand (the Tooth Fairy) and plenty of popcorn. The girls were up through the night. In the morning, we served fruit, donuts, cereal, and OJ.
It was a night packed with fun activities that really didn't cost very much. The goodie purses were created from items found in the dollar bins at Target and from Dollar Tree. As for the facial treatments I was careful to purchase products that were gentle and had scents appealing to preteens. I did research how to make these treatments at home and had the best intentions of doing that. But as they saying goes "time is money" and I'm short on both :). Overall this was a "scentsational" experience that I'm sure we'll do again in the future.
The ratio of expense to excitement was off the hook when it came to the Spa Slumber Party. So if you're looking for some ideas, here's how we did it. Upon arrival our guests were immersed into a pampered environment that included aromatherapy candles and soundscape music. They were offered slushies and a tray of fruit snacks to enjoy at our outdoor "bubble" lounge. Several age-appropriate magazines were also available for their perusal while awaiting their turn at the manicure station in the living room. The manicure included a palm to elbow massage with a luxurious satsuma body butter. After the manicure the girls painted each other’s nails with some candy scented polishes. Meanwhile, the girls were also circulating through the relaxation center where they enjoyed a shiatsu on a recliner while listening to a soothing sound machine and breathing in the stress relieving notes of another aromatherapy candle.
Each girl received a cute purse in brown or pink with a bow in front. Inside there was a small loofah, a manicure set, scented hand lotion, head wrap, and “Friends 4ever” picture frame. After the nail and massage sessions we moved onto the much anticipated facial. First we washed faces with a citrusy cleanser from Clean and Clear, then exfoliated with an apricot scrub from St. Ives, then we used warm towels to open up the pores. Next, we applied a green mud mask from Burt’s Bees and cucumber slices on the eyes. At this point we took a picture break. (Each girl went home with a group picture for their frame). Then we washed up with warm water and finished up with a gentle aloe facial moisturizer. The girls loved every minute of it! After that it was pizza, a purse decorated cake with ice cream, and gift opening. We filled in the rest of the night by renting a movie from on demand (the Tooth Fairy) and plenty of popcorn. The girls were up through the night. In the morning, we served fruit, donuts, cereal, and OJ.
It was a night packed with fun activities that really didn't cost very much. The goodie purses were created from items found in the dollar bins at Target and from Dollar Tree. As for the facial treatments I was careful to purchase products that were gentle and had scents appealing to preteens. I did research how to make these treatments at home and had the best intentions of doing that. But as they saying goes "time is money" and I'm short on both :). Overall this was a "scentsational" experience that I'm sure we'll do again in the future.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Wanted Dead or Alive: Creator of the Virus that infected my email!
My email has been infected (and thus so has my life) by a virus. I truly feel like the victim of a crime and I want justice!
Honestly, I never thought this could happen to me and was completely unprepared for the havoc it would wreak. Apparently, I may have accidentally disabled my anti-virus software at some point. Still, I'm always careful about the emails I open so I'm not sure where this virus got it. In the past week, the virus has sent thousands of emails to friends, family, clients, business associates, acquaintances....it has just been a nightmare. I posted a warning on my facebook and twitter feeds but those have a limited circulation, so I've received a slew of email responses and some were a bit tepid.
I feel like I've been robbed. Robbed of my good name, robbed of my electronic relationships, robbed of my time, robbed of the full use of my computer etc. Seriously, I should be able to file a police report. I want a crack team of computer techs tracking this predator down. The sentence would require disposal of the assailant's computer. There would also be some community service where the perpetrator has to fix every PC affected by the virus he created. It's a nice dream right?
Who knows....maybe someday we'll have some sort of virtual online police. Wouldn't it be cool to just press a button on your toolbar and this law enforcement avatar takes your complaint then goes speeding off into cyberspace to apprehend the criminal! I'm totally picturing a "Tron" like world. Oh well, in the meantime I'll just have to be more vigilant and hopefully never go through this experience again.
Honestly, I never thought this could happen to me and was completely unprepared for the havoc it would wreak. Apparently, I may have accidentally disabled my anti-virus software at some point. Still, I'm always careful about the emails I open so I'm not sure where this virus got it. In the past week, the virus has sent thousands of emails to friends, family, clients, business associates, acquaintances....it has just been a nightmare. I posted a warning on my facebook and twitter feeds but those have a limited circulation, so I've received a slew of email responses and some were a bit tepid.
I feel like I've been robbed. Robbed of my good name, robbed of my electronic relationships, robbed of my time, robbed of the full use of my computer etc. Seriously, I should be able to file a police report. I want a crack team of computer techs tracking this predator down. The sentence would require disposal of the assailant's computer. There would also be some community service where the perpetrator has to fix every PC affected by the virus he created. It's a nice dream right?
Who knows....maybe someday we'll have some sort of virtual online police. Wouldn't it be cool to just press a button on your toolbar and this law enforcement avatar takes your complaint then goes speeding off into cyberspace to apprehend the criminal! I'm totally picturing a "Tron" like world. Oh well, in the meantime I'll just have to be more vigilant and hopefully never go through this experience again.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
What Mommy Wars?
I recently read an article examining the status of the so-called "mommy wars". The author postulated that the struggling economy had made this a back burner issue. I believe the Mommy Wars were flamed by media pundits and never reflected the day-to-day reality of modern motherhood. Most women understand that we all have difficult choices to make in life, and every mom has do to what is best for her family in their circumstances.
I base this on personal experience in nearly every hyphenated unit of the Mommy troops. I have been a full-time working mom, a part-time working mom, a stay-at-home mom and a free-lance working mom. At each stage I have been actively involved with my children's lives and engaged with mothers from all walks of life. There has never been a time that I felt any real enmity or judgment of my work arrangements. I never heard my professional colleagues disparage stay-at-home moms or vice versa. There were definitely interesting discussions about what was best for children, for women, whose needs should come first etc., but never did I encounter the virulent "us vs them" mentality that generated so many headlines.
Of course there are some individuals with very strong opinions. One former coworker declared she was so glad to be back in the workforce because staying at home with her kids had been boring and she felt she had lost her identity. She believed that taking time out of work wasn't really a good choice for women or children. I gently pointed out this was her individual experience and she had reached this conclusion after having had the opportunity to stay home; a choice that many moms will never even have a chance to make.
The truth is so many mothers struggle to balance raising children with working and meeting their own personal needs. There is no one choice that is perfect for all families. Like the seasons, our families needs and desires change over time. We are already under so much pressure as modern moms, the stay home vs work debate is just irrelevant. Instead of talking about Mommy Wars let's talk about Mommy Peace. Let's talk about support services for the various challenges presented by working, staying at home, and everything in between.
I base this on personal experience in nearly every hyphenated unit of the Mommy troops. I have been a full-time working mom, a part-time working mom, a stay-at-home mom and a free-lance working mom. At each stage I have been actively involved with my children's lives and engaged with mothers from all walks of life. There has never been a time that I felt any real enmity or judgment of my work arrangements. I never heard my professional colleagues disparage stay-at-home moms or vice versa. There were definitely interesting discussions about what was best for children, for women, whose needs should come first etc., but never did I encounter the virulent "us vs them" mentality that generated so many headlines.
Of course there are some individuals with very strong opinions. One former coworker declared she was so glad to be back in the workforce because staying at home with her kids had been boring and she felt she had lost her identity. She believed that taking time out of work wasn't really a good choice for women or children. I gently pointed out this was her individual experience and she had reached this conclusion after having had the opportunity to stay home; a choice that many moms will never even have a chance to make.
The truth is so many mothers struggle to balance raising children with working and meeting their own personal needs. There is no one choice that is perfect for all families. Like the seasons, our families needs and desires change over time. We are already under so much pressure as modern moms, the stay home vs work debate is just irrelevant. Instead of talking about Mommy Wars let's talk about Mommy Peace. Let's talk about support services for the various challenges presented by working, staying at home, and everything in between.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Making Summer Magic
Spring hasn't officially arrived yet, but already its time to plan the family's summer activities. You have to get a jump on this because the most affordable and fun camps will be filled quickly. I've already spent hours trolling the web to research various camps. I have to balance the girls' interests with our budget and availability. I have literally built a spread sheet that incorporates prices, camp dates, age range, activities, and distance from home. Its all part of my parental committment to make my children's summers as magical and memorable as mine were.
Although to be honest I didn't get to do as much in my entire childhood career as my kids have in just the last four years. It was a different time and compared to our peers we were spoiled. My brother and I were quite aware of how much our parents sacrificed to take us on a vacation every summer. Usually it was a short beach getaway but sometimes it was a big trip like DisneyWorld. In between, we filled the summer days with bike riding, going to Vacation Bible School, and spending countless hours at the library. For me reading books at the library was the best part. It was an opportunity to learn more about anything I wanted without the stress of tests or grades. I believe these self-directed studies played an important role in shaping the person I am today. That is why I am a strong supporter of summer breaks.
I understand all the arguments for year-round school but I truly believe the benefits of a summer break outweigh the drawbacks. Yes, the school calendar was originally created to accomodate a farming culture that is virtually nonexistent today. However, the culture has evolved to where this seasonal break is crucial to the tourism industry which in turn provides employment opportunities for teens. The summer hiatus is also a perfect time for students to repeat a class or to get ahead. For me, typing and government were so easy when I had no other classes to worry about. You also can't overlook the transformative powers of summer. How many times did you come back to school to be wowed by classmates who had grown taller, shed weight or braces, or just gained an appealing aura of confidence? Changes like that don't usually happen in two-week breaks.
I still believe in the importance of summer vacations and I sincerely hope they don't disappear. Our childrens' futures will be filled with year-round work schedules and activity packed two-week vacations (only after their six-month employment probation of course), but this is the only time in their lives when they can explore the mysteries of their own minds and experience the magic of endless summer days. No time table, no agenda, just the chance to be.
Although to be honest I didn't get to do as much in my entire childhood career as my kids have in just the last four years. It was a different time and compared to our peers we were spoiled. My brother and I were quite aware of how much our parents sacrificed to take us on a vacation every summer. Usually it was a short beach getaway but sometimes it was a big trip like DisneyWorld. In between, we filled the summer days with bike riding, going to Vacation Bible School, and spending countless hours at the library. For me reading books at the library was the best part. It was an opportunity to learn more about anything I wanted without the stress of tests or grades. I believe these self-directed studies played an important role in shaping the person I am today. That is why I am a strong supporter of summer breaks.
I understand all the arguments for year-round school but I truly believe the benefits of a summer break outweigh the drawbacks. Yes, the school calendar was originally created to accomodate a farming culture that is virtually nonexistent today. However, the culture has evolved to where this seasonal break is crucial to the tourism industry which in turn provides employment opportunities for teens. The summer hiatus is also a perfect time for students to repeat a class or to get ahead. For me, typing and government were so easy when I had no other classes to worry about. You also can't overlook the transformative powers of summer. How many times did you come back to school to be wowed by classmates who had grown taller, shed weight or braces, or just gained an appealing aura of confidence? Changes like that don't usually happen in two-week breaks.
I still believe in the importance of summer vacations and I sincerely hope they don't disappear. Our childrens' futures will be filled with year-round work schedules and activity packed two-week vacations (only after their six-month employment probation of course), but this is the only time in their lives when they can explore the mysteries of their own minds and experience the magic of endless summer days. No time table, no agenda, just the chance to be.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Translating Tiger
Here is what Tiger Woods really would have said if he'd been wrapped in Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth.
I am sorry. I am so sorry I got caught! The ride is over and it really sucks for me. I was having so much fun. Now I have to pretend that I had some sort of addiction and that it was out of my control. I have to go to rehab and remember all the great times and feign remorse. The publicity around this is ridiculous, any guy in my position would have done the same thing.
I will come back to golf as I soon as I can convince my wife that I won't be "playing the field" again. I have a learned alot from this experience. These lessons will be invaluable in helping me cover my tracks better the next time I succumb to this "addiction". In the meantime, rest assured that I will be back and ready to get in bed....ahem....partner with new sponsors. I will also screw over the ones who dumped me just for embarrassing them a little. Thank you and again I'm really really sorry.....for me.
I am sorry. I am so sorry I got caught! The ride is over and it really sucks for me. I was having so much fun. Now I have to pretend that I had some sort of addiction and that it was out of my control. I have to go to rehab and remember all the great times and feign remorse. The publicity around this is ridiculous, any guy in my position would have done the same thing.
I will come back to golf as I soon as I can convince my wife that I won't be "playing the field" again. I have a learned alot from this experience. These lessons will be invaluable in helping me cover my tracks better the next time I succumb to this "addiction". In the meantime, rest assured that I will be back and ready to get in bed....ahem....partner with new sponsors. I will also screw over the ones who dumped me just for embarrassing them a little. Thank you and again I'm really really sorry.....for me.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Stop the Snow, Stop the Snow, Stop the Snow!
This is an SOS to all my friends in sunnier climes, help!! Unprecedented back to back blizzards have resulted in nearly 30 inches of snow outside my door. The kids have been out of school for over a week, there's been no trash pick up, we've had a couple of bouts of illness, and I'm climbing the walls! Seriously, it hasn't been as bad as it could have been. The best part is that Brien managed to get home just before the second blizzard hit and relieved me of my snow shoveling duties :). I praise God that I stocked up on plenty of food and treats. We are eating our way out of this. I've probably gained 40 pounds (but its just snow weight). We've caught up on recent movies but fallen behind on housework. However, laundry can not be ignored. The kids come in from the snow soaking wet and are constantly changing clothes. Baby Savannah looked so adorable in her new snow suit, but she HATED going outside in the snow. I couldn't even get her to smile for a decent picture. Brien has high hopes that one of our daughters will compete in the winter Olympics someday, but I think Savannah might be more of a summer girl. On the other hand, Carisa and Contessa are daredevils who throw themselves down snowy hills with no concern for personal safety. I just take the pictures and go back in for cocoa. It looks like the snow is gone for awhile, now its time for the Big Melt. I'll probably be writing about epic flooding soon....please standby with an ark!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Marriage Reality Check
My husband and I have been married for over 13 years. I am proud of the life we've made together, but it has been an incredibly rough road. There were many times when I wondered if holding on was the real mistake and other times when I felt incredibly grounded and secure. Maybe that explains why I WAS a big fan of the Jon & Kate Plus Eight show. Yes, Kate could be shrill and Jon was the epitome of passive/aggressive, but they were a better reflection of my marriage than the reality TV family I wish we were like, the Duggars. I could relate to Kate's emotional outbursts, her desire to create wonderful childhood memories,and to provide for the brood financially. Meanwhile, Michelle Duggar the even-keeled, patient, ever faithful mother of 18 never loses her cool. She lives on some alternative plane of consciousness unfazed by petty concerns. I would love to join her, but spiritually I'm just not there.
So while I aspired to be Michelle, I found solace in seeing Jon and Kate muddling their way through in similar fashion to us. I was disturbed by blog reports of Kate's manipulations, but I decided to give her some slack due to the pressure of having to put eight kids through college someday. And even though Jon was henpecked, I knew he had to be grateful to Kate for masterminding their path to financial security. I really believed Jon and Kate were a strong unit and was so envious when they renewed their vows in Hawaii. So I felt incredibly duped when their facade came crumbling down. It has forced me to take another hard look at my marriage. Afterall, I related to Jon and Kate and as long as my marriage wasn't any better or worse than theirs, I felt I could coast. But the reality is marriage is hard work, something you have to work at every day. There are no guarantees, but neglect is always a recipe for disaster. So the lesson for the day? Don't compare you marriage to anyone else's because you'll never know what goes on behind anyone's doors but your own.
As for the show, I still tune in like a rubber necker at a crash scene. The show has devolved into a blur of cross promotions, field trips, and product placements. There is no substance, no real heart any more. The main draw of the show was the family interactions, and seeing the kids grow up in a normal fashion. From this season's shows it appears the kids are on one never-ending vacation. You don't see the everyday stuff of family life like the chaos of getting everyone off to school, tackling chores, making friends, etc. Jon and Kate used to pretend the cameras weren't there. Now they talk directly to the cameras because they have no one else to play off of. It is so sad. I just wish TLC would pull the plug and free me from this self-inflicted addiction.
So while I aspired to be Michelle, I found solace in seeing Jon and Kate muddling their way through in similar fashion to us. I was disturbed by blog reports of Kate's manipulations, but I decided to give her some slack due to the pressure of having to put eight kids through college someday. And even though Jon was henpecked, I knew he had to be grateful to Kate for masterminding their path to financial security. I really believed Jon and Kate were a strong unit and was so envious when they renewed their vows in Hawaii. So I felt incredibly duped when their facade came crumbling down. It has forced me to take another hard look at my marriage. Afterall, I related to Jon and Kate and as long as my marriage wasn't any better or worse than theirs, I felt I could coast. But the reality is marriage is hard work, something you have to work at every day. There are no guarantees, but neglect is always a recipe for disaster. So the lesson for the day? Don't compare you marriage to anyone else's because you'll never know what goes on behind anyone's doors but your own.
As for the show, I still tune in like a rubber necker at a crash scene. The show has devolved into a blur of cross promotions, field trips, and product placements. There is no substance, no real heart any more. The main draw of the show was the family interactions, and seeing the kids grow up in a normal fashion. From this season's shows it appears the kids are on one never-ending vacation. You don't see the everyday stuff of family life like the chaos of getting everyone off to school, tackling chores, making friends, etc. Jon and Kate used to pretend the cameras weren't there. Now they talk directly to the cameras because they have no one else to play off of. It is so sad. I just wish TLC would pull the plug and free me from this self-inflicted addiction.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Household invention idea
Do you know what this world really needs? Labeled sponges. Yes, I do believe this would create family harmony which ultimately leads to world peace. Think about it. Labeled sponges means you'll never have to say or hear this again. "Honey, you mixed up the sponges again. I told you the pink one is for the dishes and the blue one is for the tubs. Ugh! This is so gross!" I've tried labeling our sponges myself with permanent marker. Guess what? It wasn't so permanent. And yeah, we should be able to remember how we've assigned our sponges but.....well....we just don't. So listen up Chore Boy! Forget the pretty little patterns on the scouring pad side. Just produce pads with sewn in labels.
My suggestions are:
kitchen
bath
dishes
gross stuff
really really gross stuff
C'mon I know you can do it. Make the world a better place today! :)
My suggestions are:
kitchen
bath
dishes
gross stuff
really really gross stuff
C'mon I know you can do it. Make the world a better place today! :)
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Compensation Czar should check on customer treatment
President Obama's compensation czar Kenneth R. Feinberg has been quietly meeting with several corporate welfare recipients to develop plans for paying their top employees. These corporate giants; American International Group, Citigroup, Bank of America, General Motors, Chrysler, Chrysler Financial and GMAC, have all been been saved by large government bailouts. Still, it is anticipated that these corporate giants will lobby to stay as close to their normal business paradigm as possible. Feinberg has the unenviable task of reigning in excesses while ensuring the companies remain competitive so that they can pay the taxpayers back.
One thing I would really like Feinberg to take into consideration is whether these companies are reciprocating the mercy and largesse of the taxpayers who are also their customers. My experiences and those of several people I know lead me to the conclusion that the answer is no, if anything these companies have become more aggressive in nickel and diming their customers to death, showing no empathy for the customer who bailed them out. It is an issue that has gone under the radar because most people don't want to reveal their personal financial affairs. But I'm going to boldly step forward and share a personal example.
A few months ago I miscalculated my account and became overdrawn. It triggered a domino of outrageous overdraft fees. Paying an extra $35 for a $2 purchase made me sick to my stomach. It shouldn't have been that bad, but the bank cleverly paid my biggest charge first so that several small charges each incurred a fee. (Note: all of these charges came in on the same day.) I went into the bank to plead my case for a few waivers. My major argument was that there had been enough funds in the account to pay all the small items so if the bank had paid those first then I would actually have had only one overdraft fee. I was very polite and humble and what did I get in return? A lecture. Yes, the bank representative looked over my expenditures and suggested I could manage my money better by cutting back on dining out. The dining out she was referring to were a couple of trips to McDonald's and Pizza Hut. To say I was insulted is putting it mildly. Its not like we were going to fancy restaurants or say throwing a party in Vegas. Honestly, if my bank (one of the bailout babies) wants to highlight these minor treats for the kids as extravagant spending then they should learn to live more frugally too. Cutting out office birthday and holiday parties might hurt employee morale but hey at least you'll be saving money. (Note the sarcasm, I would never support punishing the worker bees.) My bank basically took a handout from me as a taxpayer then turned around and chastised me as their customer. How arrogant and unappreciative! Did I get the waiver? Yes, with the caveat that I will not be eligible for any other fee waiver for one year. The policy doesn't bother me, its the treatment. If this is how corporate welfare recipients express gratitude to the American public then they need an attitude adjustment. Feinberg can help achieve that by making customer satisfaction a key component to keeping the big bucks flowing.
One thing I would really like Feinberg to take into consideration is whether these companies are reciprocating the mercy and largesse of the taxpayers who are also their customers. My experiences and those of several people I know lead me to the conclusion that the answer is no, if anything these companies have become more aggressive in nickel and diming their customers to death, showing no empathy for the customer who bailed them out. It is an issue that has gone under the radar because most people don't want to reveal their personal financial affairs. But I'm going to boldly step forward and share a personal example.
A few months ago I miscalculated my account and became overdrawn. It triggered a domino of outrageous overdraft fees. Paying an extra $35 for a $2 purchase made me sick to my stomach. It shouldn't have been that bad, but the bank cleverly paid my biggest charge first so that several small charges each incurred a fee. (Note: all of these charges came in on the same day.) I went into the bank to plead my case for a few waivers. My major argument was that there had been enough funds in the account to pay all the small items so if the bank had paid those first then I would actually have had only one overdraft fee. I was very polite and humble and what did I get in return? A lecture. Yes, the bank representative looked over my expenditures and suggested I could manage my money better by cutting back on dining out. The dining out she was referring to were a couple of trips to McDonald's and Pizza Hut. To say I was insulted is putting it mildly. Its not like we were going to fancy restaurants or say throwing a party in Vegas. Honestly, if my bank (one of the bailout babies) wants to highlight these minor treats for the kids as extravagant spending then they should learn to live more frugally too. Cutting out office birthday and holiday parties might hurt employee morale but hey at least you'll be saving money. (Note the sarcasm, I would never support punishing the worker bees.) My bank basically took a handout from me as a taxpayer then turned around and chastised me as their customer. How arrogant and unappreciative! Did I get the waiver? Yes, with the caveat that I will not be eligible for any other fee waiver for one year. The policy doesn't bother me, its the treatment. If this is how corporate welfare recipients express gratitude to the American public then they need an attitude adjustment. Feinberg can help achieve that by making customer satisfaction a key component to keeping the big bucks flowing.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Stroller Envy
I have a confession to make, I am guilty of stroller envy. Its an insidious disease that started quite innocently during my first pregnancy. A total novice to the baby world, I went straight to the big box stores to do some comparison shopping. Since I was having a girl I was looking for something feminine. That was a big disappointment because at that time the majority of the strollers came in shades of navy, black, or gray. There were a few cute strollers but they looked pretty flimsy. I eventually settled on two travel systems (one for us, one for the grandparents)that met my requirements for ease of use and affordability. I was being practical because the baby needed so many things, but I couldn't help feeling wistful when I saw those chic, pricey models in my pregnancy magazines. I never saw those brands at the big box stores, so I didn't have a chance to try them out.
Now I know that even if I had tested them I couldn't have truly appreciated their upgrades until after having the baby. Once the baby was born I found myself wishing for different features on my stroller. Like wouldn't it be nice if the stroller could fully recline to allow my princess to stretch out more comfortably? Voila! A trip to a mall and there's someone with a stroller that fully reclines. I loved those old fashioned prams which were way out of my price range, and thought someone should invent a stroller that lets the baby face you. Bam! See all the mommies chatting face-to-face with their babies at the park. Everywhere I looked there were fascinating options; strollers that turned on a dime, folded more easily, weighed less, came with height adjustments, or useful attachments. I started taking mental notes of the brands, the colors, their features. I was brazen in asking the mommies with the BETTER strollers about how much they paid, where did they get their wheels, could I take a test spin? A whole new world opened up to me. I learned that there were different categories of strollers including pramettes, laybacks, joggers, tandems etc.. Visions of Bugaboos, Peg Peregos, Inglesinas, Quinnys and others danced in my head. The research was exhausting and ultimately futile. Seriously, I had two perfectly okay strollers. Plus, no one in my family could understand the desire for a stroller with such an exorbitant price tag. If I knew then what I know now, I would have realized that the luxury stroller was actually a great investment when you take into account that each of your children will use it for at least two years. And, they do great at resale.
I share this story to encourage other first time moms to take the plunge and go for the stroller you really want. The expensive nursery furniture you are buying will rarely be seen by anyone other than family and your child will be out of the crib by two. But the stroller, oh the stroller....it goes everywhere with you. It is how you present your baby to the public. You really want to be happy with your stroller. Alas, my story has a happy ending. Recently I acquired a second-hand Bumbleride Flyer in a gorgeous salmon-like color. It lays back, has reversible handles, and garners so many compliments! Of course I still check out other strollers. Like just this summer we went to a theme park and I couldn't help noticing several brands that I'd never seen before. It was a wonderful turnaround from my early mommy days, because this time I walked away thinking, "My stroller is better, my stroller is BETTER!"
Now I know that even if I had tested them I couldn't have truly appreciated their upgrades until after having the baby. Once the baby was born I found myself wishing for different features on my stroller. Like wouldn't it be nice if the stroller could fully recline to allow my princess to stretch out more comfortably? Voila! A trip to a mall and there's someone with a stroller that fully reclines. I loved those old fashioned prams which were way out of my price range, and thought someone should invent a stroller that lets the baby face you. Bam! See all the mommies chatting face-to-face with their babies at the park. Everywhere I looked there were fascinating options; strollers that turned on a dime, folded more easily, weighed less, came with height adjustments, or useful attachments. I started taking mental notes of the brands, the colors, their features. I was brazen in asking the mommies with the BETTER strollers about how much they paid, where did they get their wheels, could I take a test spin? A whole new world opened up to me. I learned that there were different categories of strollers including pramettes, laybacks, joggers, tandems etc.. Visions of Bugaboos, Peg Peregos, Inglesinas, Quinnys and others danced in my head. The research was exhausting and ultimately futile. Seriously, I had two perfectly okay strollers. Plus, no one in my family could understand the desire for a stroller with such an exorbitant price tag. If I knew then what I know now, I would have realized that the luxury stroller was actually a great investment when you take into account that each of your children will use it for at least two years. And, they do great at resale.
I share this story to encourage other first time moms to take the plunge and go for the stroller you really want. The expensive nursery furniture you are buying will rarely be seen by anyone other than family and your child will be out of the crib by two. But the stroller, oh the stroller....it goes everywhere with you. It is how you present your baby to the public. You really want to be happy with your stroller. Alas, my story has a happy ending. Recently I acquired a second-hand Bumbleride Flyer in a gorgeous salmon-like color. It lays back, has reversible handles, and garners so many compliments! Of course I still check out other strollers. Like just this summer we went to a theme park and I couldn't help noticing several brands that I'd never seen before. It was a wonderful turnaround from my early mommy days, because this time I walked away thinking, "My stroller is better, my stroller is BETTER!"
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Military Wife = Single Mom
I can't believe it! We just got word that my husband will most likely be going away again soon. I have felt nauseous all day since hearing the news. I'm still praying for a miracle like cancelled orders or at least postponement. This is just a horrible time to be separated; what with a new school year, a baby just starting to crawl, and a new dog in the house! Still, this is the life we signed up for. The funny thing is I never envisioned myself here. After we married my husband quit the military because I told him flat out that I could not handle the lifestyle. I didn't want to raise our children by myself while he was gone months at a time. Little did I know there was no escaping our destiny.
Today we are fully invested in the military life and for the most part its a good life. We have job security, great healthcare, community support and lots of other benefits. The biggest downside is the separations. Every time they come up I think I'm going to crash and burn. Life is chaotic enough when we are working as a team and it can get crazy when you have to go solo. Over the years I've developed great empathy for the real single moms out there. I personally know what its like to bundle everyone up in the middle of the night to get a sick child to the ER. Spend the night in the waiting room trying to keep the healthy kids entertained and the sick kid calm. Come morning you still have to race around with the usual routine; school, meals. laundry etc.. There is no backup, no one to pick up the slack and give you a break. By the grace of God I've grown stronger from each experience, but still its hard. Every time I think about going back to work full-time something like this happens to remind me why working from home is the best option for my family right now.
There are some good things about the separations, like I get COMPLETE CONTROL over everything in the home. Should I give into the kids request for pizza? Hmmm, no one to consult but myself. Maybe I'll experiment with moving the furniture around...no one here to change it back. Did I fall behind on the housework because I got sucked into reality tv? Don't need to confess that to anyone. Of course, when my husband returns there is always a rough adjustment period. The kids and I will be used to the rules of my monarchy, but with dad back in the picture its once again some kind of democracy. There are usually some skirmishes, followed by a bloodless coup, and then finally a treaty signing, but that's another topic in itself. For now its time to dig in, remember that God has never given more than I can handle, and cherish this time with my children.
Today we are fully invested in the military life and for the most part its a good life. We have job security, great healthcare, community support and lots of other benefits. The biggest downside is the separations. Every time they come up I think I'm going to crash and burn. Life is chaotic enough when we are working as a team and it can get crazy when you have to go solo. Over the years I've developed great empathy for the real single moms out there. I personally know what its like to bundle everyone up in the middle of the night to get a sick child to the ER. Spend the night in the waiting room trying to keep the healthy kids entertained and the sick kid calm. Come morning you still have to race around with the usual routine; school, meals. laundry etc.. There is no backup, no one to pick up the slack and give you a break. By the grace of God I've grown stronger from each experience, but still its hard. Every time I think about going back to work full-time something like this happens to remind me why working from home is the best option for my family right now.
There are some good things about the separations, like I get COMPLETE CONTROL over everything in the home. Should I give into the kids request for pizza? Hmmm, no one to consult but myself. Maybe I'll experiment with moving the furniture around...no one here to change it back. Did I fall behind on the housework because I got sucked into reality tv? Don't need to confess that to anyone. Of course, when my husband returns there is always a rough adjustment period. The kids and I will be used to the rules of my monarchy, but with dad back in the picture its once again some kind of democracy. There are usually some skirmishes, followed by a bloodless coup, and then finally a treaty signing, but that's another topic in itself. For now its time to dig in, remember that God has never given more than I can handle, and cherish this time with my children.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Finding My Voice In Social Media
It has been a year since my first and only blog post and I am incredibly disappointed with myself for not having kept up with it. I've got a million excuses e.g. a rough pregnancy, a premature birth, sick kids, marital strife, economic worries, baby blues, the list goes on forever. What it finally comes down to is that the biggest obstacle to stretching myself into the social media realm is ME.
I'm a great gun for hire. I'll turn out amazing prose under deadline pressure for a client, but when it comes to writing just for my own pleasure I can't seem to carve out the time or settle on a topic. My mind wanders in a million different directions, do I want to comment on today's politics? parenting challenges? the scandals on my favorite reality shows? my personal growth?....can't decide. The funny thing is I do keep a journal, I update it at least a couple of times a month, sometimes more sometimes less. Why can't I do the same on a blog?
I think on some level I fear that any subject matter I tackle will forever define who I am in the blogosphere. If I talk about my children then "mother" becomes my primary title. If I natter about government issues then I'll be labeled as some sort of politico (and probably alienate a whole bunch of people). And I guess that's okay, because isn't that how we brand ourselves? But I haven't figured out what I want my brand to be. I am a writer, mother, wife, aspiring entreprenuer, concerned citizen, etc. and all these parts of me are constantly competing for my limited time and energy. Still, I've resolved to just take it one step at a time. I've started to Twitter, I've got a profile on LinkedIn and someday soon I plan to join Facebook. Stay tuned I may surprise even myself.
I'm a great gun for hire. I'll turn out amazing prose under deadline pressure for a client, but when it comes to writing just for my own pleasure I can't seem to carve out the time or settle on a topic. My mind wanders in a million different directions, do I want to comment on today's politics? parenting challenges? the scandals on my favorite reality shows? my personal growth?....can't decide. The funny thing is I do keep a journal, I update it at least a couple of times a month, sometimes more sometimes less. Why can't I do the same on a blog?
I think on some level I fear that any subject matter I tackle will forever define who I am in the blogosphere. If I talk about my children then "mother" becomes my primary title. If I natter about government issues then I'll be labeled as some sort of politico (and probably alienate a whole bunch of people). And I guess that's okay, because isn't that how we brand ourselves? But I haven't figured out what I want my brand to be. I am a writer, mother, wife, aspiring entreprenuer, concerned citizen, etc. and all these parts of me are constantly competing for my limited time and energy. Still, I've resolved to just take it one step at a time. I've started to Twitter, I've got a profile on LinkedIn and someday soon I plan to join Facebook. Stay tuned I may surprise even myself.
Monday, July 7, 2008
The Quest for a PUSH Wagon
Wow, it is almost 4;30am and instead of working on resumes, finances, or our ongoing new home and school search, I've decided to create a blog! I promised myself I'd really make some headway on at least one front tonight, but instead I became engulfed in an internet search for a play wagon that you can push instead of pull. There's absolutely no compelling reason for me to conduct this search. It's just another way to avoid all the BIG things on my agenda.... like potty training, our family's upcoming move to DC, working on professional development, taking an active role in politics, inventing something, and writing the next great American novel. Still, as a mom of two with one on the way, this issue has weighed on my mind for quite awhile. Why isn't there a pushcart style of wagon? I love giving my girls a ride in their wagon, but I loathe the strain on my back and shoulders when it comes to pulling. It would be so much easier to push, just like a stroller. Surely, some savvy marketer should have recognized this problem by now and presented a solution!
.......this mindless rant brought to you courtesy of sleep-deprived, pregnant, military wife, mother, and believe it or not communications professional!
.......this mindless rant brought to you courtesy of sleep-deprived, pregnant, military wife, mother, and believe it or not communications professional!
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